Thoughts of a Sophomore
I was chatting with my junior on MSN yesterday night, after the Welcoming Party of the International Students’ Club. As you might probably remember my junior shares the same birthdate as me, so from the first moment I saw him I got the creepy feeling that I am actually talking to my duplicate self. At first glance you’ll notice that we both have the same small eyes, same charming smile (heh) and probably the same cheeky expression, just that he does not have eyebrows as thick as mine.
The only difference I noticed is that my duplicate self finds himself more comfortable in the school environment compared to myself when I was here last year. I do not only see a little of myself in him, but also how he fared better than me. I saw the blunders and mistakes I made last year as a freshman - overly confident and a little arrogant (as with most Chung Ling students). I am glad he does not follow my footsteps, and I sincerely hopes his 7-years here will be happy and smooth-sailing.
It’s mid-autumn festival exactly one week after school started. This also marks I’ve been away from home for more than one year. You might have heard this thousands of times before from my blog, but this one year came and went with much pains and gains. Having literally battled myself into a medical school, I assumed studying medicine would be a long hard war with books and cadavers and lectures. I bury myself in the library almost everyday, not knowing the golden period for co-curricular activities lies during the first and second year of your medical education. I missed out a lot of fun we share as a wholesome class, and I was lonely. I overworked myself not knowing what Medicine requires of us is actually only a small fragment of the effort I invested.
And during those darkest period I sincerely thank my best friend Tsan who automatically approached me and brought a little joy into my miserable life. I was touched by his sincerity during the early months - he was mostly there when I don’t feel good about a certain issue or when I had problems with adapting myself in a strange environment. The parallel lives we lead during the early months was both meaningful and memorable for me. Nevertheless, as our lessons got more demanding and as he is kept more and more busy with co-curricular activities I dwindled deeper yet into the labyrinth of darkness again. Long after we’ve left these memorable months behind, I will still recall the carefree days when he insisted I wear a raincoat when I pillion his motorcycle. I gave thanks to Almighty and him for a harbour of comfort, and I asks for apologies in the event that I scarred both our feelings, which I did numerous times in the course of our friendship. Impulsiveness.
Now comes a second friend who provided warmth and comfort during the winter months. My senior who always listens silently and gave advice which not necessarily helps but definitely provided comfort was there with me until I board the plane home for Chinese New Year. It was his Year 3, but he’s always willing to spend time listening to my troubles and worries all the while.
As I step into a more-challenging second year it’s often good to be able to look back at the good-but-painful old days when I literally learned by falling down and climbing up again. I know now that my attitude and Chung-Ling arrogance played an important part causing the pain, but I am glad I recovered from these falls quickly enough to have a small network of friends now. I shed away the Chung-Ling arrogance (which isn’t necessarily bad by the way), and learned to be more tolerant. I am proud to have inherited the famous Malaysian hospitality, which I find useful in my SCOPE jobs.
I am still trying to abandon the typical Peter-Pan syndrome, to think from other perspectives and to look at things from all 360 degrees. With God’s strength I hope I will end this semester (and these 6 years) being a better person. To Hueih Ling (if you’re reading this I hope you persevered up till now), taking things easy will sometimes produce unexpected (and better) results. To my junior (even though you might not read this), I sincerely hope you, my duplicate self, will be happy and fares better than the original self (and now I’m confused as to whom is the duplicate and who’s the original). To Tsan and the senior, thank you for everything.
