JYSim for jobless-yokel Sim

I had ideas pouring over myself last night but today after reading a reference for this blog everything seemed dried up, and I have half-an-hour to go before I have to head for lessons, and I’m still in flip-flops.
Anyway, this is in short what I’m trying to express in this post - friendships wither if we do not put in effort to maintain it. And I was referring to a post I blogged once (About Friends). This sentence is specially dedicated to one person who had been my first friend in Taiwan but now seems indifferent towards everybody when he thinks he can care less and occasionally becomes offensively disturbing with the stuff he cherishes - Friends come with expectations and some effort maintaining the
friendship. Though when you find maintaining the friendship a burden,
it’s better that you quit it, but simple maintainence such as greeting
each other on MSN or arranging some time for a movie is, in harsher
tones, an obligation. If your instincts felt neutral about the
gathering, don’t let your friend down by rejecting while producing some
lame reasons. Of course when your instincts say ‘no’ (i can tell that
rarely happens), you have the right to reject. Friends are hard to come
by and appreciate it when you have it.
I do not put any blame on anyone of us for this graying friendship. The truth is that this decline started a long time ago and we both have responsibilities towards its descend. Kenneth was smart enough to spot this was a hopeless friendship when I shared with him my problems and told me to end it as soon as possible. I thought he was a little radical then, but now I see everything he saw - my friend, from the simple, caring and understanding character I knew him during the first few months, had evolved to become a power-minded, occasionally-irresponsible (especially towards things that don’t matter to him), and we’re-good-friends when he has trouble person. Now when I see this crack from another perspective, I see it vividly. For almost half the semester he almost never talked to me, never shared his past-year chemistry questions with me, and on this day before physics test he came down to my room and suddenly became my best friend - he gave me answers to our physics question bank, and the physics exam paper from Biotech. Well, alongside with all those were 20 or more slides all in English, sentences to be restructured, vocabulary to be reformed, and grammar to be repaired.
I dare not say our friendship is falling into ashes, there are things we still cherish and appreciate, however, let’s just say it has gotten so little I’d drown in boredom if I don’t re-establish my own group of friends. It was his easy-going character and passion for stuffs that he likes that got him chosen to lead several societies and co-chair several activities, and he was busy. He was busy he became irresponsible, trying to escape from all the burden he never anticipated in shouldering perhaps. And it’s the irresponsibility that kills me. It was his words said but never done, his intrusion in my options of life, and his greeting me on MSN just to boast he had a great weekend…
Perhaps again I was being biased in my post, but that’s how I see things going on between us. And perhaps he never wanted things like this to happen, but this is your life, dude, grasp it and live it yourself!
It took me more than 2 months to face this truth, and though I doubt there’s anything we both can do to salvage it (and heck, I don’t think I dare send him the link to this blog), I’d still like to thank him for the precious time we spent together during the past months. Though this friendship may be short lived, I’d always treasure it and grasp the chance to resume it (however, whether or not you’d grasp it is your choice). And by saying ‘grasp’ here means I’d accept it on the terms that both of us have no significant advantage to gain over the other during the course of our friendship. I have learnt to defend myself against all the odds, and here is proof.

Thanks to a generous guy on YouTube and his hosting on Geocities, I was able to download a number of Air Crash Investigations documentaries by National Geographic lately. Being an aircraft and aviation freak since I ended high school means I treat all of the documentaries like my own sons and daughters. I watched each and every one of them and I plan to burn them onto CDs and document them for future usage (RapidShare downloads allow only 90 days viewing).
After watching my 10th Air Crash Investigation tonight, I was motivated enough to blog this one while waiting for my friend to send me a 800 MB clip we made about ‘Holiday’. Just as a Kegworth Air Disaster (1989) survivor described, you can’t go through an air crash without changing. To all crash survivors, they’re always pondering and reviewing what’s the purpose God granted them another chance to live - to tell the story (perhaps), to educate the public from another disaster (much likelier), or to re-live their wasted lives? To the crash victims, it’s a relief to know that air crash victims suffered very little when they died. Aside the fear and helplessness (which won’t last more than an hour - how can a stricken plane stay aloft for more than an hour?), they went up very quickly - swift and clean.
To me as a viewer, every Air Crash Investigations teach me to be even more careful and precise when dealing with calibration and measurement, or being more clear and straightforward when dealing with people and communications. Disaster can strike without us noticing, and sometimes it’’s rather easier to ’spot’ them than to ‘repair’ the damage.
I can’t reason out this argument, but every time I finished watching ACI, I felt a little more tranquil than before. A little calmer from all the pressures of medicine (though I haven’t studied much lately) and friends and paperwork (now computerized). I start to think a little passively - what if? What if I was on China Airlines (2nd most dangerous airline in the world) back to Penang (and I will) and suddenly this 737-800 break apart in mid-air, and the stewardesses were flying away (without wings) and all the passengers, either unconscious or mutilated, were laying beside me seconds before I passed out? I would be so sorry for thinking why did my roommate turned on his speakers to full blast playing stupid songs yesterday and why I just kept quiet and tolerated him instead of lambasting him straight up the wall. Or why didn’t I just bought the Delta Air Lines Boeing 767-400ER model plane I liked so much. I would be regretting a life about to end.
So after my 10th ACI I wrote this little feedback and thoughts in me. Thank you once again to National Geographic and whoever you are uploading all the films for us.

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the Pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fill of clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years
finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate.
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate.
I am the captain of my soul.

It’s been almost 8 months since I first step foot in Taiwan ROC. A place I never dream of coming in my entire life. It’s the same as my exchange in Italy. Not one moment in my 17 years of life told me I’ll one day be riding a bus feeding between Cuneo and Borgo S. Dalmazzo carrying books in Italian.
Taiwan ROC is a brand new country for me. The system is different, the people are different. Of everything I find the people most difficult to handle. Being born and bred with anime from Japan and baseball and basketball from America, we have near to nothing to talk about during our first few months. This, is what I find truly apt in ‘black as the Pit from pole to pole’.
Thinking back, though I had been through quite some emotional turmoil during my stay here, I had never broke up, yet (and sometimes I think breaking up is better for me, cos at least those idiots around me will start treating me like a human and not an anger-free doll). And one thing I’m able to be proud of myself is my determination and perseverance in defending what I like and what I honour (honor) the most - Malaysia Airlines, Malaysia, choir, aviation, aircrafts and movies (and hence - Under the bludgeoning of chance / My head is bloody, but unbowed). I was not the active guy in class yet, and though people might not like my harsh (but efficient) way in managing things, I feel extraordinary, cos I am always able to get things done in half the time required by some other less-efficient people. I am not nearing the verge of drowning myself in my work, yet.
And hence, to my Taiwanese friends - I honour (honor) how you choose your life to be and how your original self start to wither under the pressures of becoming a more popular leader, a more welcomed character. But I will always remain as myself, under whatever circumstances may be - sensitive, being sometimes offensively passionate and unwavering. I am more than happy to be your friend if you choose me to be, and honour (honor) our friendship.
To my Malaysian friends - It matters not how strait the gate / How charged with punishments the scroll. We all know that choosing the lives we lead now is not an easy thing to do and that we still have lots of challenges ahead of us. While I know and am constantly assured of all you guys’ support and friendship behind me, I’d like to say thank you so very much for shaping me into what I am today. And no matter what difficulties lie ahead of us, do always remember that I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul.

I’m on 7 on the business scale from 1 to 10 (with 10 being the busiest) lately. Weekends are almost fully packed (except that of last week’s) from a choir workshop in Taipei the weekend before last to a short trip to the RueiSuei township south of Hualien this week. It was for our Tzu Chi Humanities assignment - to introduce a piece of Hualien you find the most interesting.
I got into this all-boys group and we initially planned to cycle to RueiSuei, which was 80km away on the middle of May. We’ll do some rafting there and indulge in the warmth of the hot springs, which is also another specialty of RueiSuei. I was certainly very excited about the trip, as my idea of a perfect nature outing was never the one to go to museums or watch animals hobbling about in the zoo. I was to arrange for transport and assist in accommodation, though at the end it was our godly leader who did everything.
On Saturday we departed at 9am. It was a torrential downpour in Taiwanese standards, and my feet was half-soaked before we reached the railway station. We took the train to GuangFu, a town in between Hualien and RueiSuei, famed for ice cream. The journey was uneventful but we did manage to plan how we’d present our reports one week after this. We had ice cream amidst the cold and 23 degrees temperature, walk around the ice cream factory, and spent fortunes on the clip-a-bunny machines. My friend, after listless attempts on trying to clip the Doraemon soft toy up, was devastated after he found out the next direct player managed to do it in one try. Eventually we have to kill time by doing some boring shots (we brought DVs) around the factory.
After lunch we continued our journey to RueiSuei. Upon arrival we went straight to a go-kart circuit to give miniature F1 racing a try. My friend fantasized about it for such a long time it was useless trying to distract him from anything else. Anyway, it was a huge dollar magnet. After negotiating we manage to get 10 minutes for NT$220 (that’s RM22). Being a licensed driver in Malaysia as well as having being on the wheel for at least 50 hours by now, I spun round the circuit trying to grasp the euphoria of high-speed driving. The wet roads enhanced the experience further. It was fun, and 10 minutes seemed like eternity. Needless to say I end up first (Taiwanese aren’t allowed to drive until they’re at least 18).
Leaving behind the roar of engines we head for RueiSuei Farm on the opposite side of town. My mind imagined Fernleaf advertisement images when they say it is a ‘milk farm’. However, aside wide turfs of green and spots of black and white made from mosaic tiles, it wasn’t anyhow interesting, aside the spotting of ostriches in the same turf as cows. The food weren’t much of anything either, but then that may be because we were tired after the excitement of driving. All the way we were coming up with insane ideas for the report. We literally exploited the DV until the battery weaned.
Next we proceed to check-in our baggages in a hostel. Try placing beds and young people together, and you’ll get 8 dead loafs laying haphazardly on the bed. We slept through 6 o’clock in the hostel and by 6.30 we were hungry enough to gather the initiative to walk to our BBQ site, which was just 10 steps away from the hot spring pools. I was never a BBQ fan so I won’t describe how much free radicals we consumed in one single night, but the hot spring was…hot. It was literally cooking us, and we still managed to film several valuable footages under the cascading boiling water. I finally realized too why winter (or rainy days) and hot springs are best friends.
After filming another crazy footage about our hostel, all of is (8 altogether) hop on the free bicycles in search of a 7-11 for supper, which according to the security guard is just 3 minutes away. We cycled downhill for nearly 15 minutes before encountering a street with traffic lights. Along the way we saw less than 3 cars coming and going and the whole town was exactly dead, dead silence. Well, we did break the silence by our bicycle squeaking and constant loud chats.
The next day we woke up as if from a hangover, not knowing who slept beside us or what we did exactly last night. Scrambling for everything, 6 of us who signed up for rafting left right away. Rafting - what you saw on television is only 5% true. Aside turbulent and hysterical rapids (which only occur once or twice in our 4-hour journey), most of it is calm rivers or rapids so small you won’t even notice when your boat bumps straight into it. The water was icy cold though. Nonetheless, my rafting experience today will remain as one of my best moments in my life. It was something between taking a roller coaster ride and swimming in the arctic.
Worn out after that, we went back on the earliest possible train, to find ourselves even more motivated to do another footage on the train. While I was constantly worried over how other passengers on the train would find these bunch of hyperactive bunnies, I was very much amazed by their creativity and sense of humour.
As the train approaches Hualien and I scrambled to find all 8 train tickets to be stamped when we check-out later, I wonder when again do we have the opportunity to be together again re-living the last two days, minus some of the extreme insanity though.

Getting to grow up you’re rewarded with the freedom of making your own decisions - weighing your options available and making the best move to safeguard your future (sounds grave) or trekking your way towards a better life. Options - something we are not well-trained into weighting when we were small, came flooding to us once we leave home. Perhaps up to the point when you’re just about to enter U your parents may still have the authority to make decisions for you, but once into the ivory tower you’re completely on your own - options.
The decisions and options we have will directly affect what we will become in future. From big airliners ordering aircrafts (as in Qatar Airways opting to go an all-Airbus fleet or Singapore Airlines’ ambition to own one of the most futuristic jet fleets) to choosing which function to attend tonight (or attending both), we make decisions everyday, whether we like it or not. Here, in the territory of adulthood, you have complete grasp to become anyone you like - the homey who stays in his room playing computer games for 72 straight hours, the society activist who has Mondays to Sundays completely filled with functions, chess practice, tennis sessions etc or the moderate good-looking guy who sometimes stays in his room for up to 14 hours but is occasionally busy with activities (ahem, that’s me). Who you’d like to be will have a great impact on who you’d be among your friends and peers. Of course, sometimes people will just look at the skills you have - producing a 30-minute clip in 1 hour, writing dramas etc.
While I shall not comment on the best way to live your university life, there is always a simple golden rule to follow by - as long as you’re happy. And how you define happy is something even Einstein cannot do. So, as long as you feel right doing what you liked, and as long as you don’t feel that your time is completely robbed by some meaningless activity, then go ahead and be yourself. I may seek happiness (or ‘happyness’ in the Declaration of Independence of USA) in getting 98 for English (which I did, blush) and being appreciated in Choir (and possible nomination for president), while my friend may find happiness in breaking the record for staying the longest in a one stretch session in the library. Another may find happiness in playing chess (and forgets to hand Jun Yi his physics report), while no. 4 may find it in realizing a dream of building a miniature airport (which I promised I’d participate).
Nevertheless, at the end of the day you’d have to ensure that you’ve enough substance for a pass, or that the teacher likes you very much you can scrape a C with 19 marks. Options - we live beside it.
Here I felt obliged to define living an ‘enriched’ life and a ‘busy’ one. Sometimes both of them are easily confused - assuming that your life is rich just because it’s busy. Take the direct aviation translation - an airliner with a lot of destinations doesn’t guarantee it to be profitable. MAS at its prime flew to over 100 destinations across 6 continents - a busy airliner it seems, but it was bleeding ringgit. El Al Israeli Airlines flew to only 49 destinations, and yet with its out-of-the-way hub in Tel Aviv, it posted a USD150 million profit for the last quarter. Besides being profitable, El Al is also famous for involving in Jewish salvation operations - In 1991 an El Al 747 flew 1087 Jews from Addis Ababa to Israel, saving these beta-Jews an Auschwitz fate. The key to living an enriched life lies in being able to organize time well and choosing only those activities you have confidence in managing as well as the ones you like (and it should at best be meaningful).
Nevertheless, our life isn’t always confined in our own palm, and sometimes we may not have the choice to decide whether or not we are to be busy or staring at the sky for 5 straight hours. And while I’ve not been in situations like this (mainly because I just become downright rude by not attending the meeting for the meaningless activity), I think human beings are always rational when you talk to them with the matter-of-fact air as well as solid reasoning. Needless to say there are always other people out there who finds this activity interesting and are willing to run it for you - so start seeking a substitute.
At the end of the day how you choose to live your life is what that matters. Just as my Camel T-shirt printed - One Life, Live It! Nobody can ever question my decision of staying in my room watching youtube from 7 to 11, nor can I question my friend’s chaotic and sometimes-troublesome lifestyle. As long as I (we) are happy, and that’s what really matters I think.

Taipei is one of the largest and most modern metropolis in Asia, and maybe even the world. Yet there’s so much about Taipei which makes it special and yet not that special. Taipei is in the twilight zone between existence and non-existence. And there are still lots more irony and contradictions to be discovered in Taipei, one of the biggest, busiest but least noted cities of Asia.When people speak of Asia they imagine exotic places like Hong Kong - port of the spices, Singapore - the port named after the lion (singa), Kuala Lumpur - The muddy banks of Klang, and Tokyo, Beijing, Seoul. Seldom do we notice a Taipei on the south-westerly of Asia, partly because the name itself is a little too short, and it’s overly Chinese in a Caucasian sense.
Nevertheless, walking in the streets of Taipei day before yesterday I came to notice how big and yet how small Taipei is. It is as if you can just shrink Taipei into a piece of land measuring only 5 by 5 km - half of it would be occupied by Taipei 101 Tower, and the other half is filled with 7-11, Giordano, Bossini, an MRT station, unorderly streets and Eslite bookstore, and viola! This is Taipei. The current Taipei is actually more or less a copy-and-paste replica of the model above (except the 101 Tower of course). Taipei is so big and yet so small because every junction has at least a 7-11 (or Family-Mart etc), and on every street there’s certain to be a Giordano (or Bossini etc) and on every not-more-than-3 blocks there’s almost always an MRT station. There’s nothing much left of Taipei of these companies chose to close down all at once one day.
Nevertheless, being an older city than both Kuala Lumpur and Penang, Taipei has one of the most historical yet dirty buildings in it’s bowels. Imagine Campbell street of Penang - now, replicate it a few hundred times, and shade it with 40 years of air pollution, dust, rain and uncertain weather - this is Taipei, with it’s brown, grey and colorless buildings (and most modern ones have tile walls now). And the alleys - hidden behind every nook and corner of a huge street you’ll always find somebody selling something, may it be noodles (not sanity-certified), betel nut or daily knick-knacks. This is Taipei, where people can earn millions selling drinks in a 3 by 3 feet shop beside Taipei 101. This is Taipei, where hundred thousands of people are jobless, and some would rather be jobless than to take up the toil and labor of a blue-collar.
Not more than 3 MRT stations away (each is only about 30 seconds apart by MRT), you can start spotting the difference. Taipei City Hall boasts of a wide boulevard, huge skyscrapers reminding how once Taipei was the 3-dragons of Asia, and vintage brands in Taipei 101 - Versace, Prada, Gucci, Omega - shops you only have the courage to step in if you have more than ten thousand in your wallet and you dress like James Bond. 3 stations away - Long Shan Temple starts off with a nightmarket with people jammed in between the stalls selling goods not worth more than 500 dollars. Rows and rows of hawkers selling seafood, and occasionally one or two selling ‘toys’ (note the quotation marks). This place was a legal nightclub with hundreds of prostitutes weaving in between no more than 50 years ago, and it’s only 90 seconds away by MRT from 101.
Irony is what describes Taipei best. Here you’re in Taipei 101, walking in the wide piazza style building with white marble and glass panels, walking beside you was a man dressed so smartly you’d think he was one of the 007 gangs too, and just then a Dad and her daughter popped in from your opposite direction wearing shorts and slippers, screaming their lungs off chasing each other. This is Taipei.
So, to summarize, Taipei to me is 30% of Seoul for its untidiness, 25% of Tokyo for its Asian sophistication, 15% of Chicago for its elite, clear-cut buildings, 10% of Kuala Lumpur for its ‘amazing discoveries behind every back alleys’, and 20% of Beijing for its roadsigns, preservation of historical sites, tourist traps and being naturally so Chinese in style.