JYSim for jobless-yokel Sim

1. 王維倫學長, Group leader
during our 1-week orientation. Very nice person who tries to speak humourously,
but failed anyhow. According to him, since 3 months ago, he gave up sleeping to
prepare our Freshmen Camp, and since then he had lost 90% of his memory. He
sleeps averagely 1 hour per day, and due to his exteremly short memory, he
repeat things very often, such as ‘good night, sleep tight’ etc.
2. 周聰瑩教授, a PhD from God-Knows-Where, his ‘teaching slides’ are documents
typed on Microsoft Word, font size 10. There are 2 polarities in his class,
either you listen and endless question marks appear in your brain, or you don’t
listen, stare at the book and fall asleep. Beware: even though he acts like he
has short-term memory (such as forgetting how to open Office), he can remember
who was absent in his class for the whole semester.
3. 洪素貞教授, Chinese prof., very humourous and knowledgeable. She can speak
literally everything from Rome history to riding a bicycle. Her typical lesson
goes like this: she starts by teaching a few paragraphs of 史記, then she’ll start on one of her experiences where this gay couple
in school sued each other and how the other teachers who tried to cool things
down got sued as well and how finally she fell from her bicycle and broke her
ankle and how the whole Hualien community knows her accident. Rumoured never
failed anyone before, let’s hope so this year.
4. 劉齊芳教授, very young Biology Experiment prof., speaks as if everybody in the
universe offended her, and is a no-nonsense for those who broke microscope
slides and other peripherals. Her weekly homework is like a monthly project,
and she’s very scrupulous as to details. According to seniors, she’s good once
you get to know her, but i think that’ll still need a long-long time to go.
5. 黃琦, classmate who thinks he’s very good-looking and will not hesitate
to spread rumours about who’s with who etc (including seniors). Besides that
he’s a good person to mingle with and may provide good advice when it comes to
food and where to shop. Potential 2007 Freshmen Camp Organizer.
6. 廖雅慧教授, English prof., ex-headmaster’s wife. Her English is very soothing
to listen, especially after listening to those from Mass Comm practising their
scripts. A prof. who apologises because she made everybody fall asleep during
her lessons. According to seniors, she’s uncomparably generous when it comes to
giving marks, but still my classmates are very particular and they’ll ask
everything and anything she mentioned that they don’t understand. Lessons may
be quite boring at times but her articles have high literature value and thus
worth reading.
7. 智超學長, the guy who assembled and gave birth to this computer I’m
currently typing into. Very nice person at first glance, becomes animated and
childish when he sees anything related to computers (keyboards and mouses not
included). His ‘computer’ story: I got exposed to computers only when I’m in
Year 1 around March (what? And you’re already such an expert!). I was so
indulged in it I didn’t notice it was our final exams until 1 week before it.
So for that exam, my average marks was 40. You can imagine what my 義德媽媽 says after she knew my results. She called up every night to check
if I’m meddling with computers until I’m in Year 2 October.
8. 世哲學長.神, God of MED94. He was top in the
everybody-feared Analytical Chemistry and Organic Chemistry. Most memorable
quote: treat your female seniors nice, treat your male seniors nicer.

9. 葉思芳教授, class teacher. When asked if she could help me to register for a mobile phone line, her first reply was ‘i don’t have a mobile either.’ Later she added that people like them don’t use mobile phones or gadgets like that when they were in U (that was during the 50s and 60s). Aside that absurdity about mobile phones she’s a very good teacher, according to seniors, and a very good person to negotiate with.

I’m not a camping guy. I don’t fancy trekking forests and pitching up a tent just to stay for one night. I don’t like raising a fire to cook some really-lame food that produce less calories than that used to raise the fire, and most of all, I can’t stand fatigue really well because of my old age. I will do weird things when I’m tired and I can’t stand balanced when my eyes are struggling to keep open.
That’s why I hesitated when our MED94 (Medical Students Year 94 (2005)) seniors promoted their Freshmen Camp. Just think of our Kem Jati Diri last year…Anyway, the dateline approached and I stupidly paid the fees.
Saturday morning, a beautiful, 24-degree-Celcius-just-suitable-for slumbering-until-12-noon morning, my roommate’s alarm clock rang at 7.00am. Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and after waiting for my 2 other roommates to complete their toilet business, rushed to the school canteen for breakfast. Several of us trotted into our classroom A102 to be greeted by a fierce-looking senior. He reminded us of the importance of punctuality and after more yadda-yadda-ing, we departed at 8.03 (3 minutes behind schedule).
On board the bus, another senior suggested we play some games when what we really need is more sleep. By then I was relatively convinced that this camp will turn out to be another variation of our Kem Jati Diri back home. We reached 鯉魚潭 soon enough to b e asked to dump our bags and to participate in the activities immediately.
What I really like about the camp was the amount of dramas and shows. Our seniors really did their best acting their various characters and before we know it, our fatigue were replaced by endless laughter about the stupidity of our seniors and the hilarious ‘Oath of Obedience’. Next, we were assigned to groups according to which sector we scored the highest marks in our field games before that.
That very evening we have seniors performing fire dances (those really-dangerous type) and out-of-the-earth plays. For one, the play was a ‘videotape’, in which another senior controls either ‘play’, ‘fast forward’, ‘rewind’ (and the players really speak reversely), ‘language controls’ (Chinese, 台語) and ‘performance controls’ (puppet setting and 瓊瑤 (romantic female author) setting).
Later we were told a series of ghost stories (some fictional, according to our Hualien classmates) and brought into the forests. Each group of 8 were given 4 lamps. With that, and a bottle of water, we trotted into the pitch-black forest. It was so dark you can’t see 2 meters beyond you. But the good thing is that we were in a group and we chatted along the way, and made jokes about the ‘ghosts’ (seniors wearing white raincoats, holding torches actually) along the way. We went through several challenges i.e. guessing something in the dark, looking for a joker card in the dark etc. Up to a certain point we were seperated by a group of seniors. I followed my class monitor and we walked approximately 50 m together. Along the way there was this area specially ‘modified’ with a green flourescent lamp which made it looked extra eerie. Thanks to my monitor’s wisdom (which is, see nothing and walk on), we were not thrown anything and shouted (by seniors). Many others were thrown at with shoes and stones and finally, when the seniors can’t stand us peeking around finding out why there are shoes flying about, shouted at ‘walk on you stupid!’
Back to camp, we shared our experiences and got to sleep without any shadows from the forests just moments ago.
The following day, we started off with a lame dance followed by a very-exhausting Field Games. I won’t report on how my team performed, but we got 2nd eventually, and was very satisfied about it. That afternoon was spent by watching shows by ourselves and it should be really nice if i can understand 台語. There’s this stupid thing seniors will do when they find you doing stupid things on stage: they’ll dress up in stupid clothes (helmet with goggles, laundry basket with a broom etc) and invade your stage to upset your show. It was really chaotic at times but I guess that’s medical students (and young people). Shortly after that we had a brief water-balloon session, and due to unfair game rules set by our seniors, it wasn’t really fun the first and second round. However, after picking up experiences, some superstar seniors are completely soaked.
Finally, with great effort, we were settled down and our seniors sang for us (sounds like we were babies). Some singers weren’t really that good, but it’s their sincerity that touched us. Before we leave the campsite we watched a 5-minute collage of photos about what we did the past 48 hours.
On board the bus I was further touched when our seniors rejected the seats offered by us (too many people, too less seats). They were the one most tired and they did most of the work, yet they still put their juniors as their first priorities and give them the best whenever they can. Whether or not this is a spirit of great love from Tzu Chi, or it is really so in most Taiwan universities (they have senior-junior system too in other Us), I cannot tell.
Things will get more tired tomorrow if I don’t rest early. 8 hours-non stop of lessons (due to our PE lecturer who chose to travel overseas last week and insist upon replacing his lesson tomorrow).

I apologise for the previous post if you find it a little weird. I was blogging through my senior’s computer and he was half-asleep studying anatomy. Seniors in TCU are really nice and helpful, regardless of male or female, whether or not they’re tired, nearly naked, half naked or fully dressed. Anyway, several minutes after my blog was posted the other day, we went to another senior’s room (which looked more like a store room) and discussed about buying a computer.

At first I was relatively determined to purchase a laptop, since I can bring it all around the place and get online through the campus’ wireless internet connection (not to say show off), and my very-precious study area will not be invaded by a bulky CPU and screen. However, the senior (living in the store room) advised me against it. According to him, a laptop can only live an average of 2 to 3 years and it will be unworthy to spend as much on something that will eventually break apart (or get stolen) easily. He suggested a desktop, and he’ll personally assemble the parts, so that all I get is the best with NT$ 30,000, RM3000, including an 19-inch LCD monitor. I can’t make a decision by then and decided I’ll follow him for a session of computer sightseeing the next day.

At 2 the following day, after I rushed back and forth buying a bicycle (NT$ 2400 including lifetime free servicing), we trotted streets of Hualien City for computer peripherals. It’s amazing how a Year 5 student can be transformed into some childish and excited kid checking out motherboards, graphic cards and chips (which to us is just like books in Greek and Latin). He further adviced me against buying a laptop, since I’ll be paying money for ‘genuine but unstable software’. At first I was worried about getting the Microsoft tag below my screen which says ‘you’re using illegal software etc’, but then I remembered those getting tagged is limited to Malaysia and Singapore only. I went back to hostel and, using my previous surveyor’s knowledge, measured and shifted my furniture so as to accomodate a CPU. I found out I can actually slide my CPU in between by bed and table. It will be quite comfortable there, that is, if no earthquake happens and I don’t fall from my bed while dreaming of being in United Airlines Flight 93.

We went shopping the very evening, and came back with chips, a 19-inch LCD screen and CPU case (riding a motorcycle mind you). And so, my computer was born. I was really amazed by its speed and silence, these two features further emphasised by my senior. However, the bad news is I can’t go online yet because new students currently have no IP. So I have to content myself by playing solitare and listening to music I’ve listened before in iTunes. My roommate consoled me by burning a full DVD of songs which contains the world-reknowned Chinese musical ‘Snow Wolf Lake’ (or something like that). Later the next day, I went to 7-11 and spend NT$ 580 on the documentary ‘Discovery: Flight 93, the flight that fought back’ (Seong Ling will now say I’m obsessed with United 93). My roommate further seduced me by lending me some Japanese dramas, which I declined politely in fear of getting addicted (as with lots of students in TCU).

Besides playing solitare on my brand new (and super-fast) computer, I slept, ate, read ‘Wuthering Heights’, slept, washed my clothes, slept and slept. My sleepiness is partly due to taking anti-allergic drugs I’m currently taking.

Yesterday evening, I entertained myself by saying I’ll go to the school gym, since it’s very well-equipped and I have practically nothing to do. Upon reaching there, I saw a dozen muscular hunks working out inside. That literally freaked me out. I rode away sad and dejected, thinking I’ll just ride around Hualien City to humour myself while looking for some decent place to have dinner.

I rode along the streets without a specific destination. I turned whenever I felt like turning and took no notice on the landmarks. I rode on and on and felt really free (cos it was raining lightly by then, and it was really cold). The chill reminds me of being in Italy, cos some streets are grey and gloomy and it looks exactly like the winter scenes in Italy. I rode on till I saw the sea, which was further more gloomy, and then I realised ‘*beep*, the U is located below a mountain!’

I backtracked for several quarter of hours and kept going back to the same McD sopt. I can see Zhong-Hua street, Zhong-Yuan street, Zhong-San street, but no Zhong-Yang street, my school. However, I wasn’t really panic (cos I can still call a cab and ride back to school, or dial 856-0505 (school’s emergency line) for help). Before dark I rode into 2 7-11 and 1 Family Mart stall to ask for directions, and by 6 I was back in the hostel, nibbling instant noodles, disposing my initial idea of eating something good outside.

Anyway, this weekend had been real fun and real boring in some sense. School starts today and good thing I have some interesting lessons later (Western Culture). I have no mobile yet, but will soon get one, I think. Meanwhile, my address is not confirmed yet, partly due to my lackadaisical attitude it is. I will keep you guys updated as soon as possible.

Malaysian students have long ago invaded and nearly monopolised most faculties in TCU, starting from MED 4 (Medicine Year 4), we have a string of excellent-performing seniors ahead, thus resulting every academic staff in TCU to expect Malaysian students to be geniuses. Yesterday a Malaysian classmate and I went to see our form teacher to check on what’s the syllabus of our ‘General Biology’ (pronounce it with an American accent), cos little Miss Malaysia is worried about not being able to catch up. The first thing Mdm. Yeah asked upon knowing we’re ‘foreign students’ is ‘where do you come from?’ The next thing she did upon hearing the answer Malaysia is to sigh a relieve ‘aiyah, no problem for Malaysians lah. Your seniors Gan XX Tan XX etc has proved all these.’

‘But we’re only in O-Levels, we got no Pre-U experiences!’

Fortunately she was very eager in helping (as with generally all other staffs in TCU) and we saw a glimpse of our syllabus. It wasn’t difficult but we’ll need to work ‘a little’ hard. Before leaving she gave us Hershley’s Chocolate (looks like we’re still in Primary School), and said she’ll ask us out for dinner with other seniors someday later.

As a Freshman, I expected life to be difficult during the first few days of orientation. Instead, we (as with all other Taiwan students) were treated kindly, compassionately and professionally. Seniors are especially helpful, and they’ll do all they can in helping you fill up your misplaced form, giving information about what you can do in 7-11, and introducing playing-places (though I can’t go usually because I got no motorcycle).

TCU is located a little away from Hualien town, which is quite irritating cos most decent eateries are there. We have a huge selection of food just right in front of school, and even if I eat one dish per meal everyday, it’s difficult to finish all of them during my 7 years here. As a result of eating too much red meat (cos new students won’t eat at the school canteen usually), we’re currently very energetic and constantly worried about zits. Anyway, Taiwan students won’t carry bottled water like we do, cos you can easily bump into any drinks shop or 7-11 or Family Mart or OK Mart for drinks (which taste really good, without additives even) at a reasonable price.

So what have we been doing these few days? Poor Malaysian students in TCU have been trotting each and every office asking information about resident-visa application, how to apply for a mobile in Taiwan without a guardian (generally they need to be 20 to own a registered mobile, and usually children will use their parents registered mobile number), seeing our host parents (2 from Kaoshiung, 2 from Hualien), watch a movie (in the school cinema), register for courses (and bear the website which refreshes only once every 20 minutes), book a cab and concorde to the nearest police station to apply for our resident status, registering co-curriculur activities (some clubs uses biscuits and drinks to lure students), undergo another medical check-up (4th in this year), and listen to informal talks (’shi-gu’ teaches how to obtain ironed-like clothes without ironing, about how to classify garbage into 7 categories (we have only 3 in Malaysia), about how you’ll get punished if you don’t sort your garbage, about how you should not involve in an accident and make everybody (including the janitor in the school) worry etc).

Remember how you suffer when Tan Lean Kee asks you to produce a 250-word essay? Now we have to do a 2000-word Chinese report for every 2 talks we attend in future. TCU emphasises continual education, and so we have to attend at least 6 talks in 4 years and produce 3 2000-word essays. Other reports would be 1000-words or more.

Currently I’m the poorest guy on earth because I got no laptop and handphone, no identity card, no textbooks, no umbrella, no blanket and no student card.

I have to say I’m no fan of Ang Pau-s, ok, with the exception that when they are distributed during Chinese New Year. For occassional Ang Pau-s given for a specific reason, upon acceptance you will have to force yourself to politely decline (even though sometimes you just felt like saving the energy and just pocket it). After several attempts you keep that money-filled packet, only to be pecked by your parents how much money it contains. Worse, during some specific occassions when several Ang Pau-s come all together at once, you will have no choice but to remember which Ang Pau is whose and how much it contains (for ‘repayment’ sake, according to Dad). Back home Mum will lament on how pampered children are nowadays and how Grandma gave her only $ 1 when she went to college (back then we still use $). Not only that, you’ll be forced to record how much money each individual gave and list them out on a sheet of paper to be laminated and attached to the study table notice board.
I’m not saying I dislike the money, but well, maybe I’ve not been through hard times, they sometimes become quite a nuiscance to me. With all the labour and paperwork to be done, I’d rather not have any at all. The other bad thing is that some face-centered relative will give exorbitant amounts equivalent to Mum’s 1 week salary, and I’ll be so flushed and paiseh because most of it was due to my Mum’s frequent phone calls to Grandma telling her she’ll have a doctor grandson soon. Well, for your information I’m the first grandson on Dad’s side to go to university on a scholarship (my cousin went before me, but he’s on his own expenses), and, not glorifying the medical career (there’s nothing glamorous about it either), I’ll be the first doctor in a few generations of businessmen, artists (my Dad), sawmillers and housewives, that is, if I don’t go insane during the 7 long hard years of my medical studies. Btw, I’m the one and only Chung Ling boy in my Dad’s side, that’s something to be proud of.
I know that giving Ang Pau is a Chinese way of blessing the future scholar as well as (in European standards) giving him / her a hug and saying ‘best wishes’. However, specifically on the money, I don’t think I deserve THAT much money because I’m not that good a person. I’m lazy, lazy, and lazy. The Ang Pau-s you gave me will practically lie on my table for weeks without being opened and checked (and God knows whether my maid will snip off a RM50 note). After reluctantly counting the money I’ll need another 3 weeks to get my bank book and march into Hong Leong to bank in the money. Once I even left my Ang Pau laying on the floor of the guest’s house.
Then come the Ang Pau packets. Some good-willed relative will write inspiring words on the back of the packet, which made it indisposable. Usually after sneaking out the money we just throw the packet away (except for HSBC or Citibank’s packets, which are worthy of 2 minutes’ admiration on the design and generous gold print). But try letting Mum see those packets with Dr. M’s quotes laying in the garbage she’ll give you another 5-hour lecture on appreciating your friends and family members. And some are very inspiring indeed you feel like keeping them for the next 7 years and exhibit them in your memoir when you’re 70. But can the flimsy red paper last for even 3 months?
Well, there’s a saying in Buddhism, it’s not exactly like this but it goes like ‘everything you gain without hard work and labour will eventually have to be repaid back to its rightful owner’. So, by accepting one week’s salary today, and if any of my relatives fall sick during his / her lifetime, I’ll have to be flown in from wherever I am and take care of him / her until he / she recovers (or, sadly, passes away), FREE OF CHARGE. Not that I’m not willing to share in future, but well, sometimes we just need to take time off, and let go all the responsibilities. And for reference’s sake Dad has 9 siblings in total and Mum has 6. My relatives are smarties in short, they pay in advance and they get free medical care upon my graduation till they’re 108.
Farewells, on the other hand, are both expensive and unhealthy. Plagued by past famine experiences (of our ancestors in ancient China), food penetrates deeper into our souls than giving a damn about what they’re doing to the Budget and the Khairy-MCA issue. Mention food in a famed restaurant and you’ll see families united, friendships re-forged and opposing political leaders shaking hands. In fact, a minute farewell yesterday nearly took my life. A close relative offered me his portion of chicken (which I suspect is allergic-prone), and I return home with a nasty rash. My body flushed and swelled up like a giant tomato and there’s this burning sensation in my neck. The emergency-department MO gave me a jab, and I slept for 10 hours yesterday. After that experience I swear never to be greedy and wallop up other people’s portion, even though it’s given willingly (this part seems unrelated to the title today).
Anyway, I’m not opposing to our Chinese 8-course banquets and farewells, they’re actually a really good opportunity to get to know people you’re acquainted, and a certain amount of housewives’ gossip among your aunts are entertaining enough to last a few weeks. However, in lieu with how precious time is today (a 8-course dinner will take up a whole evening, which I can spend writing a blog, reading ‘Les Miserables’ and watching a movie), we can reduce the courses to 5, and spare the sharks, oysters, and abalones. One thing we lack in Chinese banquets is dessert, which is usually a simple ‘liquefied peanut butter’ (according to a Caucasian) or light syrup with…where’re the condiments? (this is again a little unrelated, i apologise).
Again, to all those I know, I know your blessings by heart and there’s no such need to send me off (and make me cry) at the airport since I’ll be returning in July (if conditions allow). I apologise should you expect me to treat you and I haven’t, and remember - eating less is always better than more. Thank you for all the books and sweaters and paper slips and glass bottles and pens and gloves and money, I guess I won’t be spending them while I’m there, maybe just on air tickets during unexpected circumstances i.e. a relative passes away, somebody got injured etc. Hey, i’m not cursing anybody, but we’ll eventually fall from the stairs or get involved in a minor accident or *beep*. And 70 years later we’ll leave one after another and those with an inch of extra longevity will have to go through the trouble of attending endless funerals of ex-classmates and friends.
Long live friendship, and family members!