JYSim for jobless-yokel Sim

Thursday, 17th August - Upon finishing my MUET paper, I packed up and left school on foot. Stupid Sami (our school caretaker) was waiting at the front gate for truants like me, and he requested my early-leave slip. ‘But I’ve gave it to my monitor. How the hell is she going to explain to my form teacher if there’s no early-leave slip and one student is missing?’ ‘Aiyah, saya tak kisah-lah, if anything happens to you when you’re out how? Sue the school how?’
So I sulkingly walked back to class, and amist stares, removed my slip before flying back to the guard house and away from school.
Coincidentally a Transit Link bus was passing by, so like most cartoons you see I stand right in front of the bus, it emergency-braked, and I boarded the bus, paying 70 cents from Air Itam to Dato Keramat (my Mum’s school). I robbed my Mum’s car keys and oversped all the way to Ban Eng, Anual and Foong Advocates and Solicitors, where Claire is waiting with her husband. After finding the car a nice, suitable but very-far away parking space, I boarded a 4X4 and off we go to the Supreme Court of Penang.
Initially I thought our Mahkamah Agung is situated near Dewan Sri Pinang in the old and dilapilated, moss-grown building, but when Danny (Claire’s husband) drove into Northam Tower, I then realised that they had already moved here, long ago. So 4 minutes later we were in the maze of Northam Tower. To get an interpreter (jurubahasa), you’ll need to take the lift to Level 2, turn right, left, left, right past 3 corners, climb up two stairs, go through 4 doors and see if they’re there or off for tea. Luckily for us, two Indian ladies were there and after some struggling with my translation (I actually translated my results myself), and understanding the urgency of the matter, and Danny’s sweet talk, she charged RM30 before doing what she’s supposed to do.
Off we go again, back to Claire’s office, some compulsory but time-consuming friendly chit-chat, and I oversped all the way to Adventist Hospital (for my HIV test). I parked way at the back, and while my head was still filled with question marks about where to go to ask for a HIV test, I saw this nice building written ‘Pathology Lab and Blood Bank’. Instincts told me to go in there. 5 minutes later I registered (skipping all the queue), paid, get my parking ticket rubber stamped (discount), and bought some buns on thw way back to the lab. 4 minutes later it was done and I sped back to Mum’s office.
Now even though my Mum is a government servant I still have to say our government servants are really lazy. They’re unproductive and have this lackadaisical attitude which delays everything. For example, Mum spends the whole morning doing her school accounts, which actually don’t have to be left till the middle of the month. Then, during office hours she drove so slowly, but it’s the opposite during non-office hours. So the race was timed out while I waited for Mum to complete her account, finish ordering her office boy and clerk what to do, and going round the school 4 times. By then it was lunch time.
After lunch Mum decided to fetch my maid, so that took us another 30 minutes. Then while collecting my HIV test results Mum met an old friend, and that took another 27 minutes. By the time Mum decided to go to JPN for my documents, it was 3pm. We reached JPN enthusiastically (or rather, I, enthusiastically) to find that all ketua sektor will be absent for one week (the curse works!). Mum said don’t worry, and sped us down (cos it’s already off office hours) to PPD (Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah near Citibank.
Our Ketua PPD was chatting with a lady then. So we borrowed his rubber stamp (Mum knew him well) and start stamping all my documents (nearly 60 sheets). After more long-winded conversations, he certified my documents, without looking at the original copies (I should have added more subjects in my SPM slip). More small talk before I yawned and Mum dragged me out of his office.
Our race ends at 5pm sharp that day. I consider myself lucky since I managed to finish everyting that day, with assistance from Mum and Danny. If i’m to go banging into the supreme court or JPN alone it’ll take a week perhaps. Till then, hope you’ve enjoyed the race and stay tuned for another round in Kuala Lumpur on Monday! (which includes The Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Putrajaya followed by our beloved Taipei Cultural and Economic Office in Bukit Bintang).

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