JYSim for jobless-yokel Sim

It took me a while to accept and face the reality that my relationships with some friends of mine are fading and very soon we wouldn’t be able to catagorize ourselves in ‘friends’ anymore. It’s interesting to note that all friends I categorise as in ‘best buddies’ will eventually disappear or lose contact, but ‘acquaintances’ will remain in contact for a long-long time. Take the following as examples:
Std. 1 to Std. 3 - Even though not as intimate as in high school, Ren Zhi, Tze Ern (as in the guy in CLHS called Adrian) and me always came to school early to participate in some unofficial games we designed for each other. We shared a childish friendship whereby we’ll go to the canteen together, line up together, copy each others’ work, and make Pei Lin (or her maid, God knows) made us her very adorable stuff toy (which I still have in possession, which will appear on top of the Christmas tree without fail every year). Once I was down with dengue and I missed out a lot of school work (typical if you’re away for 2 weeks, and your school is, by then, the self-proclaimed elite primary school in Penang). Ren Zhi kept all my work for me (and even help me did some). Then comes our downfall - In Std. 3, Ren Zhi was offered a ’skipping’ opportunity under the PTS system, and a year after that we were streamed. Tze Ern, though smarter than me later in life, got into the second class, and we never talked to each other after that. I did met Ren Zhi on a few occasion in CLHS several years later, but I wasn’t sure if he still knew me, and I just gave my that-very-typical nod. I did not see him ever again.
Std. 4 to Std. 6 - Chen Yi, Zi Xiang and several others we backbenches share a same passion - disliking our form teacher. We call it dislike and not hate, as we still go to gatherings, carry her books to her seat, and did her homework just to entertain her. And I guess you’ll soon forge some really good friendship if you pretend to mark your answers on the oh-so-blank BM workbook, together, and cheat in exams, together, and imitate each others’ autographing styles, together. Even though we’re constantly pressured to ‘rocket towards your 7As in UPSR’, we published our very own class newspaper (with some external help, of course), featuring the then very arguable crash of Singapore Airlines SQ006 in Taipei. Downfall - eventually everyone of us got into sec. school, and for no appearant reason since then, gatherings are very gender sensitive. Aside some cool guys who approach the girls, we geeks are always jamming the PlayStation and watching ghost movies. When we talk about teachers we’ll routinely praise them (and not curse and insult anymore), and everyone doubly made sure we’re marking answered workbooks.
Form 5 - You don’t really forge good friendship in specific when you’re constantly streamed every year, but Form 5 proved different from other years. Soon Khen, who appeared to be the typical Chinese-guy, Jieyang, who in contrast, appeared to be the English-guy, and me, who…don’t qualify for either one, shared the same interest in Harry Potter, and eventually, some musicals, and soon movies, relationships and studies. We creatively constructed smashing sentences for English, talked rather than studied in the library, and counseled each other during the depressing SPM era. There were countless times chatting together in MSN, and I stupidly gave away my hotmail password for Jieyang to read an online purchase confirmation. Sadly, it lasted for a brief but meaningful 0.5 year. Upon my return from Italy, I noticed drastic changes in Soon Khen, and Jieyang seemed distant (no offence to both). We no longer chat together in MSN, and replying each others’ e-mails are no longer regular. It’s sad to admit this, but sometimes it feels a drag to reply our e-mails, and we no longer share the same frequency on MSN. There’s a sad barrier between us, and though we can still sit together and talk, with tremendous effort arranging each others’ timetables and moods, it wasn’t like last year anyhow. After a meaningful meeting with Kee Wai a few days back I finally manage to find a reasonable explanation for our distance - our social circle deviates, and thus our attitudes changed. Still I felt sad when we could have the chance to sit together and talk but one among us won’t appreciate the opportunity, or felt the money for the drinks should be saved for whatever reasons, won’t turn up and meeting’s dismissed.
Friends come with expectations and some effort maintaining the friendship. Though when you find maintaining the friendship a burden, it’s better that you quit it, but simple maintainence such as greeting each other on MSN or arranging some time for a movie is, in harsher tones, an obligation. If your instincts felt neutral about the gathering, don’t let your friend down by rejecting while producing some lame reasons. Of course when your instincts say ‘no’ (i can tell that rarely happens), you have the right to reject. Friends are hard to come by and appreciate it when you have it.
You can say I really envy those who have lots of friends from their co-cu society (as I know St. John ppl do). But still everyone defines ‘friend’ differently. In one or two years’ time we’ll leave each other, and God knows we can still see each other again, and again God knows what’d become of whoever when we meet him/her 20 years later. Of course in the course of life we’d made loads of new friends, but still it wouldn’t be tough to maintain old friendships and share our pasts together.
Tutti insieme, per sempre - together, forever.

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