JYSim for jobless-yokel Sim

They pay big bucks to Idris Jala for whipping up formulae to save MAS from its cash and debts crisis. Now return to the basics, we do need these strategies to get to the root of this problem.

On board
1. Impose fines for unfinished food - You always get annoyed by children who complain they can’t finish their food but keep asking for more food 3 minutes later? Well, this is a great way to teach these jerks on wasting food and in a way generate cash, real fast!
2. Charge for ‘extraordinary’ requests - ‘Miss, I want the tea with 4.5 spoonsful of milk and 2/3 spoonsful of sugar. Make sure it’s Earl Grey and not Lipton or Boh,’; ‘Well, that’ll cost RM4, sir’
3. Charge for in-flight movies - While some movie maniacs do really watch the in-flight movie, others just sleep through it, so why pay for the copyright? Charge it as pay-per-view, with credit card! Btw, make sure the movies come with THX and Dolby.
4. Fine for making noise - Like in school, people will get annoyed if you make too much noise in the cabin. So make sure air hostess go patrolling frequently and ask these ‘cakap-banyak-s’ to pay for their saliver flying through the atmosphere.
5. Re-use tea bags - Who needs the tea-bag to be virgin anyway? Re-use it (3R), just like Abdullah said. In fact, the tea won’t lose its colour (just the taste) after its second and third re-use. This in turn leads to ‘reduce’ (garbage) too!
6. ‘Drinking’ water instead of Mineral water - Who can tell the difference between a RM1.50-for-0.5-litre mineral water and a RM0.20-for-1-litre tap water? And for convenience pper cups may be considered instead of plastic (or glass or crystle) ones.
7. ‘Gliding’ - According to aircraft-makers Boeing, aircrafts are good gliders. With the engine turned off, it can glide 500 km by only descending 7 m. So, for example, while arriving KLIA, it’s advisable to turn off the engines after we reach Penang. Sounds scary but it sure saves a lot of fuel, and mind you, fuel prices are rocketing nowadays.

Back in the office
1. Use conventional monitors instead of LCD monitors - that’s really obvious ain’t it?
2. Philips Energy-Saving Bulbs instead of Flourescent tiubs - ok, enough crap!
3. No calculators, use sempoa! - Statistics show that prolonged usage of sempoa will help reduce fatigue and improve memory and EQ.
4. Use MSN instead of the phone - Telekom Malaysia charges 20 cents per minute, MSN charges nothing, and since the whole office should be equipped with wireless internet connection, sending an IM certainly isn’t that difficult after all.
5. Centralised telephone - No more personal phone sets for every worker, now when you need to make a call, go to the main phone and do it. This prevents mothers from calling their children every 5 minutes, and wives calling their husbands to check on them every 16 minutes. Believe me, they’ll appreciate us!
6. Sharing bathrooms - Reduce number of bathrooms by combining both genders into one. Rest assured, you won’t be harressed or molested, simple strategy - first half-an-hour, women’s time, and the following half-an-hour, men’s time. Everyone gets their share, and can’t you actually wait for just half-an-hour?

Copyright of JYSim. If any MAS rep. is here and is interested in purchasing or implementing these ideas, just e-mail me!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 at 7:28 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.